Host: Cindy Hovington
Co-host and Producer: Marion Van Horn
Guests: Drs. Jenna Elgin and Shanna Alvarez
Drs. Shanna Alvarez and Jenna Elgin are the two child psychologists behind Helping Families Thrive. Their mission is to bring parenting science to the real world. As moms of 3 kids each, they relate to the struggles and joys of parenting. They want to bridge the gap between the information most parents have access to and the rigorously researched tools they have from their training to bring parents real peace of mind. Their values center around using evidence and balance to reduce shame and guilt that can come from misinformation. To achieve this goal, they’ve created Essentials, a comprehensive parenting course for children 2-10 that puts the power of the most studied evidence-based parenting programs in the palms of parents’ hands.
Summary
Which type of parenting do you follow? Positive parenting, conscious parenting, attachment parenting, authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting…is your head spinning yet? There are many types of parenting described on social media but what do they mean? Are they backed by science? Which one should we be following? Join us as we chat with the psychologists behind Helping Families Thrive, Drs. Jenna Elgin and Shanna Alvarez to learn more about parenting styles and how to follow the style that leads to resilient children.
Key Points
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Warmth and boundaries are important
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Resilience is built from experiencing distress and working through it, not from being rescued from it.
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Using logical consequences (you made a mess, you clean it up)
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Parenting philosophies are different from parenting styles which are studied in research
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Philosophy is a set of ideas around parenting that are not studied in science. It doesn’t mean it is a bad thing, we just want to clarify the different terms.
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Parenting styles are measures according to the levels of warmth and control.
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High on warmth but low on control means holding a boundary might be more tricky for you (learn more about boundaries with Jess in episode
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Focus on your “true north” in parenting. A compass that always leads to warmth and boundaries
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There are only about 4-5 evidence-based parenting programs
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Your level of emotional dysregulation really feeds into your child’s dysregulation
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We build our child’s resiliency by helping them push through difficult moments
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If you have a mantra it will help you push through challenging moments with your child
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Consistency is an important driver in how we parent
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Try to remember what the parent’s job is in a moment. Your child doesn’t have to feel happy about a boundary you set, but it is your job as a parent to stick to it.
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You can’t expect both parents to have the same styles but there should be a general framework that leads to warmth and boundaries
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Yelling can be the failure of setting a boundary earlier or not being able to hold the boundary
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Positive parenting in research is different from that on social media. All positive parenting programs that are evidence-based include consequences and time-outs
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According to a meta-analysis, 3 components of parenting programs that lead to more reductions in challenging behaviors include positive reinforcement, praise, and logical consequences (ref below). It comes back to having both warmth and boundaries. You need both sides of the mountain!
Resources
https://www.incredibleyears.com
https://www.generationpmto.org
https://www.triplep.net/glo-en/home/
Time-Out Research Articles
Corralejo, S. M., Jensen, S. A., Greathouse, A. D., Ward, L. E. (2014). Parameters of Time-out: Research Update and Comparison to Parenting Programs, Books, and Online Recommendations, Behavior Therapy, 49(1).
Dadds, M. R., & Tully, L. A. (2019). What is it to discipline a child: What should it be? A reanalysis of time-out from the perspective of child mental health, attachment, and trauma. American Psychologist, 74(7), 794–808.
Drayton, A. et al. (2014). Internet Guidance on Time Out: Inaccuracies, Omissions, and What to Tell Parents Instead. Journal of developmental and behavioral pediatrics, 35(4), 39-46.
Morawska, A., Sanders, M. (2011) Parental Use of Time Out Revisited: A Useful or Harmful Parenting Strategy?. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 20, 1–8.
Quetsch, L. B., Wallace, N. M., Herschell, A. D., & McNeil, C. B. (2015). Weighing in on the Time-Out Controversy: An Empirical Perspective. The Clinical Psychologist, 68(2), 4–19.
Evidence-Based Parenting Meta-Analyses
Kaminski, J. W., Valle, L. A., Filene, J. H., & Boyle, C. L. (2008). A meta-analytic review of components associated with parent training program effectiveness. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 36, 567–589.
Leijten, P., et al. (2019). Meta-analyses: Key parenting program components for disruptive child behavior, Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 58(2), 180-190.
Identifying Misinformation on Psychological Interventions
Meichenbaum, D., & Lilienfeld, S. O. (2018). How to spot hype in the field of psychotherapy: A 19-item checklist. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 49(1), 22–30.
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